Dawg with a Blawg

Very interesting thoughts from a very lovely person!

recent posts

  • Tennis & Tequila 🎾🍹

    Today, I helped to create a beachfront view for one of my wonderful colleagues. What was once a cold, empty wall framed between two cubicle panels, is now a sunny scene of palm trees and ocean waves. If he’s ever feeling down about the blue light from his monitor piercing through his retinas, he can instead look up to see blue sky and water. With the help of sweet Sheccid, we created a cubical vacation.

    I had an unexpected change of plans this evening, which led to me taking an impromptu tennis lesson. It was led by an incredibly interesting coach, who gave quite the speech on what it means to be a winner. This was my second tennis lesson ever, with my first one taking place about 6 months ago. I’ve found that it’s best to space them out this way so that I don’t get too good and accidentally end up in the Olympics or something. The number of times I swung the racket versus the number of times I hit the ball is really quite embarrassing. I’d say it’s a 4:1 ratio at least, but it’s better than not picking the racket up at all!

    Then, I headed to the gymnasium to work on my basketball skills. My layups, my jump shot, my dribbling, my pivoting, my dunking. All the normal and totally real stuff that I can do. My colleagues were begging me to stop dunking and making everyone else in the gym feel untalented, but I just looked at them and said, “The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great in whatever they want to do.” And then I dunked on them. This is completely accurate and not made up at all, you can even ask them.

    Next stop of the night: Coconut Margarita! Truly one of the best drinks I’ve ever had. I heard a hilarious story about toilet paper flying in the wind, while celebrating the not-birthday of a friend. Finally, my last stop of the night was at Harper and JJ’s house, to eat some of the delicious food that my sister had made. Our conversation during dinner gave me such profound inspiration. In that moment, I decided what I would be naming my future children. I created a list on my phone, and if I somehow ever come up with better options than these, I will add them to this list.

    These are my kids: Colby, Jack, Cheese Pyle

    While my original plans for the evening will always be my favorite plans and my favorite place to be on a Wednesday, I’m grateful that I still ended up having such a fun night with some great people. I hope that everyone reading this is healthy, happy and joyful. After you read this, I encourage you to do something spontaneous or something outside of your normal routine, even if it’s small, and see how it changes the course of your day!

    Why’s James Crying, Dawgs? ❤️

  • The End of a Handsome Chapter📖

    If there is one thing I have learned about these evening shifts in the gymnasium, it’s that you really get to know the people you’re working with. Some of my best conversations have happened in that gym and tonight was no exception. I challenged a new colleague of mine to a game of one-on-one basketball, and while that’s not exactly what we ended up playing, she certainly put up a fair fight. She also became the newest subscriber to my blog!

    Tonight, I was made aware of how much some of you still truly enjoy these blogs, and that warmed my heart. This started out as a joke with my sister that I thought would last maybe a week. After almost 4 months, I have to say that this is one of my favorite things I have ever done. It is so silly and the look on people’s face when I tell them that I have a blog is just priceless. It keeps me connected with people that I don’t get to see that often and is a very fun way to document this stage of my life! Someday when I am a rich and famous blogger, I will look back on the Dawg Days and think of the 25 subscribers that got me there.

    Over the past four months, there have been many different chapters and regular Blopics™️ (that’s Blog Topics, for my newer readers) and phases that the blog has gone through. From the early soup days and puzzle updates, to my gym competition and alter egos. We’ve been through a lot so far. For my loyal fans, I thought you’d all like an update on one of my frequent Blopics™️: Mr. Handsome. The journey with Mr. Handsome has been an interesting one, and it has certainly been entertaining. It all started from me pretending not to know how to use a scoreboard, and it all has ended with him unsubscribing. That’s right folks, Dawg With A Blawg has lost its first subscriber. I have said from the beginning that if you wrong me, I will write a hate post about you. While that’s not necessarily what I did, it was still enough for him to remove Dawg With A Blawg from his inbox, and from his heart. So, this is me officially bringing the Mr. Handsome chapter of this lovely blog, to a close. Let us reminisce on his best and worst moments in the blog.

    • Best: When watching The Santa Clause 3, in total seriousness, he said that Santa Claus and Jack Frost were brothers. Not even part of that sentence was a joke. When we got to the point in the movie where Jack Frost tricks Santa Claus, Mr. Handsome just said, “Oh. I guess they’re not brothers.” It took all I had in that moment to hold it together, and I could die laughing right now from the thought of it.
    • Worst: The very simple sentence he said to me almost four months ago, that has genuinely haunted me ever since. It really altered something in my brain and made me question the way that I am. Five little words. “You’re very pretty…just goofy.” Just. Goofy. It was quite deflating for someone that prides themselves on their joy, whimsy, and general unseriousness. Seems small, I know, but it just really stuck with me. Just. Goofy.

    I am silly and I am goofy and I do make a joke out of most things. Maybe that is a character flaw to some, but it is the reason I get up in the morning. It is the reason that I laugh 300+ times a day. It is the reason that I started this blog in the first place, which has added an immense amount of joy to my life and has allowed me to connect with people in so many different ways. If that is a weakness, it is one that I own and will cherish. Even though I’m never going to die, life is too short to not laugh every chance you get.

    Everybody take a moment to mourn the loss of this blog character. Okay half a second is enough. We are on to a new chapter, and this one will be even more chaotic and exciting. Moving, new roommates, new goals, fresh hair. I’m seconds away from actually doing a handstand. Good things are happening and I can’t wait to share them with my amazing subscribers. Keep seeking out excitement, movement, joy and resilience. There are good days coming your way!

    Stay handsome, Dawgs ❤️

  • Did They Do The River Green? They Did! 🍀

    I am currently sitting in my bed with a heating pad pressed against my face. I’m watching a creepy new show while I wait for my ice cream to melt a little, hoping that the throbbing pain in my jaw will stop before I cry. Just your typical Saturday night.

    Anyway, happy Pi Day! On this day, 12 years ago, I won a competition for memorizing the most digits of Pi. Two days before the competition, I printed out a piece of paper that had a whole lot of numbers on it and taped it above my bed. For those two nights, I read through that list of numbers over and over, adding 7 numbers at a time after I memorized what came before it. Threes and eights and twos swirled around in my head as I drifted to sleep. When it was my turn to stand up and recite what I’d learned in front of my classmates, I stared at the floor and spewed out as much as I could remember while trying not to pass out from anxiety. Turns out that in two days, my 11-year-old brain had held onto 77 digits of Pi. I impressed my teacher and won a cookie cake, my favorite! If you’re asking why the prize wouldn’t be a pie, that is a great question that I myself have been wondering over the years. My teacher made me go to each classroom and recite it for the other teachers and students. It was incredibly embarrassing and my classmate, Michael, was mad because he thought that he was going to win with 60 digits. But no, I beat him. Because even at 11, I was a beast that knew I was never going to die.

    Today, I can only recall about 40 numbers of Pi, but as I’m writing this, I’ve decided that I will try my best to get back up to at least 70. I need to start exercising my brain more. At 11, I was memorizing large amounts of numbers by just staring at them as I fell asleep. At 23, I will forget what I was saying mid-sentence at least fifteen times a day. I need to figure out what the equivalent of a burpee is for my brain and start doing that every day. Maybe then I can get up to 100 digits of Pi, and someone can give me another cookie cake 😃

    My prize that started a lifelong love for cookie cake

    One other thing of note before I wrap this up, today I was informed that they dyed the Chicago River green, and I wish I’d been there to witness it. I didn’t know they did this until about a month ago, and I have been eagerly waiting for an update from an inside source. It is truly an insane sight, and I am sure that next year I will be able to see it in person. I think they should also consider turning The Bean™️ green as well. They could call it The Green Bean™️.

    Does this confuse the fish?

    I am about to take an unfortunate amount of ibuprofen in hopes that it eases some of this pain, and pray that I look less like puffy-faced goblin when I wake up tomorrow morning. I am still looking for more people to participate in a short interview for something I am working on, so if you have 5 minutes to spare, please let me know! I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend and experience something joyful in the next 24 hours!

    Goodnight, Dawgs! ❤️

  • A Week Of Wacky Animals 🐪

    I am once again sitting in a gymnasium, listening to sneakers squeaking on the floor and kids yelling at each other while someone’s music is playing from a speaker that appeared out of nowhere. While all these noises do at times make my brain feel like it is going to burst into flames, I don’t really mind it tonight. It’s kind of nice watching different friend groups come in and connect and do something they all enjoy together. Plus, it gives me time to sit down and write, which I know my loyal subscribers have been missing lately. Before I continue, I’d like to let everyone know that I am working on an idea for a future Blawg, and need your participation to make it happen. All I need is approximately 5 minutes of your time to answer one question. If you are interested, please reach out!

    The past few days have been a bit of a blur, but a fun blur! I went to a 3-year-old’s birthday party and thought that my friends and I were going to have a pack of dogs sent after us, but there was a quick-thinker amongst us that knew just how to fix things: playing Victor Vito Funny Food Song for Kids at full volume. Did it help the situation? Not exactly. Did it make me laugh and get stuck in my head for the next two days? You bet. After the party, I stopped by this very gymnasium to help set-up for a comedy show, and I had the opportunity of a lifetime right in front of me, and I didn’t take it 😞 I was on a stage with a microphone, with the spotlight shining right on me, and I didn’t use it to sing my rendition of One Little Slip from Chicken Little. I passed on the chance to have all of the attention in the world (from the 3 people that were in there) and I know that I will always regret it. Take advantage of the opportunities that come your way, you never know if you’ll have them again.

    I could have had it all 💔

    A song I’ve been listening to a lot the past couple days is called The Great Lakes Song by Lee Murdock. It’s a song that was always sung on the last night of summer camp, and while that was always a very sad night, the song now brings me an unexpected amount of joy. Something else I’ve been listening to on repeat in its entirety is Harry Styles’ new album. It is truly incredible and each song gets better every time I listen. If anyone is interested in listening, my Top 5 from the album are: The Waiting Game, Coming Up Roses, Season 2 Weight Loss, Paint By Numbers, and Taste Back.

    Here’s a quick summary of everything else that happened this week: I pet a donkey, I wore a basketball hoop on my head, I took a picture with some camels, I met with a trainer at my gym to learn how to do a handstand, I almost hit a panther, I curled my hair with socks, I watched a pig in sunglasses sing a song, I chopped my plant up in hopes of making new plants, and I watched Season 50 Episode 2 of Survivor and it was actually so hilarious.

    I hope everyone’s week is full of love, hope and laughter. As always, I encourage you to seek out joy and remember that in order for new things to arrive, you have to let old things go.

    Goodnight, Dawgs ❤️

  • Bring Me Danny

    I am starting a petition to change the Cheerio’s mascot name from BuzzBee to Buzz Honey. It is just a sweeter name and feels a lot more lovely and fitting for that sweet little bee. BuzzBee is just too predictable and puts me to sleep when I hear it. Don’t get me wrong, the marketing he’s been doing for the company is truly great, I’m a big fan of the positive affirmations that are on the boxes lately, but the name just needs to reflect the joy and love that bee is trying to share. Sign my petition below, or never eat another Cheerio again in your life.

    I spent pretty much all of Friday trying to learn how to do a handstand and I definitely made some progress. Unfortunately, I have not been able to attempt it again in the last few days because I am so unbelievably sore from the 500 times I tried it on Friday. I seriously can barely straighten one of my legs. I won’t let this hold me back for long though, I must persist through the hard times.

    My previously mentioned big decision has led to other decisions that will be happening sooner rather than later. I still cannot disclose the big decision, but everyone just keep sending me good vibes from the depths of your hearts to support me. In the next few weeks, I need to downsize a lot and get to packing. My goal tomorrow is to get my closet completely cleaned out. However, it’s also very tempting to jump on a plane and just get out of here forever. I shall trick my family into coming with me. I’ll provide an update tomorrow on whether I organized my closet or fled the state.

    Lastly, I have a challenge for my Dawgs, and it may be a problematic one. At the local Jersey Mikes, there is a cardboard cutout of the one and only Danny Devito. If one of my subscribers can find a way to get this to me, they will get the shoutout of all shoutouts. There will be an entire blog post created in their honor. It’s a big ask and may not even be possible. But should one try and succeed, my life will be forever improved. *Please note: I am in no way asking anyone to thieve or commit a crime.*

    This has been a bit all over the place, but it is extremely accurate to what my brain looks like right now. So much to do, so much to plan and prepare, so many more handstands to attempt. I will just keep doing my best in the ways that I can. I hope that whenever you’re reading this, you have hope and determination and joy in your heart. You can do anything you put your mind to.

    Stay lovely, Dawgs ❤️

  • The Farmers’ Trees Are Full Of Fruit

    In all honesty, the last 24 hours have just been bad. They have been the worst, actually. My heartsong is silent and I don’t know what to do now. I’ve just listened to sad music all day and cried at my desk and went to the gym and now I sit here with no distractions and I think I may throw up. Today’s blog is kind of just a big bowl of nothing, but it felt necessary to document my life right now.

    Please enjoy this picture of a tangerine, which I got for free thanks to my dear friend.

    The leaf is everything to me. I have about 50 pictures of this thing.

    Below is a list of songs I have been listening to in attempts to process my feelings. Feel free to listen if you’d like to also be sad.

    • Rivers and Roads by The Head And The Heart
    • Matilda by Harry Styles
    • Que Sera Sera by Doris Day
    • Brand New Key by Melanie
    • The Best Day by Taylor Swift
    • You’re Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan
    • Big Rock Candy Mountain by Harry McClintock

    That’s all I’ve got tonight. That may be all I have for a little while. I know that joy returns, and life goes on. In the meantime, I will distract myself and try to downsize my life.

    The barns are full of hay, Dawgs ❤️

  • Simon Says: Change Everything

    This has been a strange week. I returned from my trip to The Bean™ on Monday night, and it feels like a century has passed since then. My week has been full of big decisions, intense games of Simon Says, kind interactions with tire salesmen, and a Freaky Friday situation with two basketball coaches. My head feels like scrambled eggs, but nevertheless, let’s take a dive into the thoughts that are cooking in this brain of mine.

    First, I’d like to share that I had a truly lovely time in Chicago. I’d never really been to a big city before and I really loved it, and not just because of The Bean™. I’m very grateful that I got to spend the weekend there with someone I love and it was nice to get a small glimpse into what life looks like there. I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected, and I was surprised with how comfortable (and not anxiety-ridden) I felt on the day that I was exploring a bit by myself. I plan to return soon, and then I plan to do something even crazier after that.

    My Basketball-Coach-Freaky-Friday situation left my head spinning for a couple of days. One of the coaches, who you may know as my former-enemy, was being very nice and helpful and was even making some funny jokes. I guess that part was not completely unexpected, seeing as we are best friends now. The unexpected portion of this interaction came from the other coach, better known as Mr. Handsome. While he was still handsome of face, he was not handsome of heart. I was taken aback by the interaction and strange behavior, and the only reasoning that I could come up with was that there had to be some sort of creepy magic that had happened before I walked into the room that made these two coaches switch minds or bodies or whatever Lindsay Lohan did in that movie. I thought maybe it was a prank of some sort, but the next day was even worse. I was confused and sad. We’ve since reconciled, but I am plotting my revenge.

    This weekend, I was involved in some serious rounds of Simon Says. At one point I was touching my head, shoulders, knees and toes all at the same time, mostly because I didn’t understand the rules. Despite my lack of understanding, I was the champion of the second round 💪🏻 We also played a game my niece made up called “Talk Stage”, where everyone had a turn to say whatever they want. This sounds a lot like a game I would make up because I do enjoy making everyone listen to me while I say whatever comes to mind, which is why you’re reading this blog right now. My niece also told me that I need to find a husband soon. She keeps me humble.

    Yesterday I had to get two new tires, and the salesman and I had a very nice conversation about making big changes in life and the difference that it can make. It was very inspiring and really what I needed to hear in that moment. It led to me making a pretty big decision, which I will disclose at a later date. The moral of this story is to talk to strangers more, and be open to change.

    This has been a very tough and emotional weekend, and tomorrow afternoon is about to be one of the saddest of my life. If anyone sees me crying at work just mind your business or give me $100 and a hug to make me feel better. Tomorrow might really be my snapping point so watch yourselves.

    I feel really hopeful about one half of my life, and completely devastated about the other half. But I guess if Chet can make it through his time on Survivor, I can make it through anything.

    Ob-La-Di, Dawgs❤️

    https://youtu.be/jQal2ivl9lU?si=3-0gzGHSeYx_KKJ5

  • The Big Bean🫘

    I’m here to report that I have officially seen The Bean™️. It was truly everything that I had been hoping for. I sadly didn’t get to climb it due to a lack of suction cups, and maybe in part due to a lack of skill. However, I did take a ton of photos and recreated an iconic picture for my sister, which means day one in Chicago was a success.

    So far, I’ve tried a new food (didn’t like it), stared at my reflection in The Bean, ate just the yolks out of three over-easy eggs that someone very kindly flipped around for me, and took a million pictures of the city because it is extremely beautiful.

    This blog is going to be short and sweet just to keep you all updated. I wanted to share something that I’ve been thinking about though. If New York City is called The Big Apple, it’s only right that Chicago is called The Big Bean. Everybody start calling it that and tell all your friends, okay?

    I wonder if all these strangers also went home and wrote a blog about this experience 🤨

    Before I go, I just want to wish all of you a very Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope your day was full of love and joy and kind words for yourself and others. I love all you wonderful people that read this silly blog! 💕

    Stay sweet, Dawgs! ❤️

  • Blogging On The Go ✈️

    Hello again, Dawgs! I am back and blogging in a way I never have before. Both spiritually and literally. I am writing this on my phone as I sit at the airport, waiting for my flight. It was delayed twenty minutes, and then for some reason an hour later it was delayed just one more minute. I am not sure what that minute is about but I intend to find out. I’ve never written a blog on my phone before, and it feels a bit inauthentic. Perhaps though, it’s the most authentic because I am able to write things out as they’re happening instead of summarizing at the end of the day. I guess the level of authenticity will be determined by my lovely subscribers.

    I love being at the airport. I love people watching and also eavesdropping on people’s conversations and this is the perfect place for it. The group next to me is having a passionate conversation about the texture of some gross fruit they tried. I wonder what it was. The family behind me is explaining to their daughter why it’s not the most polite to loudly ask someone if they missed their flight, when they very clearly did. In front of me, there are two twin girls that are dressed identically in pink hoodies and have the same haircut. Part of me thinks it’s cute and part of me is creeped out. It’s interesting thinking about how I don’t know any of these people around me, but we’re all about to sit down next to each other and soar through the sky for the next three hours. That’s a pretty crazy thing if you think about it. Flying has become too normalized and people aren’t excited enough about it. I’m about to literally fly up into the sky and move about 600 miles per hour. Imagine there was no plane and you just saw me shooting through the sky that fast on my own. I have to learn how to do that.

    Here’s an incredible conversation I just overheard: “I’m going to see the Bean tonight bro.” “Tonight? Where’s the Bean?” “Right outside our hotel bro.” These people definitely have their priorities straight, I truly respect it. Maybe I’ll see them there.

    I am now sitting in this plane, about to head to Chicago. I’ve never been and I am very excited. My only goal is to take an incredible picture at The Bean and maybe climb it if I’m feeling adventurous and can get access to some suctions cups. I will keep you all updated on how this goes.

    I think I am very fond of this mobile blogging thing. I feel as though I am able to share my thoughts in real time which just opens up a whole new world for this blog.

    I hope everyone has a beautiful Valentine’s Day, spent loving yourself and others. Tomorrow is a fun reminder that there is love and joy all around us in so many ways. Tell someone you love them today, tomorrow and every day!

    Taking off Dawgs! ❤️

  • When I See Your Light Shine🌟

    Today’s Blunch™️took place in a cold, dark, abandoned trailer. It was just Morgan and I sitting at our old, dusty desks, subs in hand, reminiscing about the good old days. The good old days that I’m speaking of were just last week, before we moved offices. The days ahead of us will likely be even better as we are in a nicer space with more people and better Blunch™️ opportunities, but we just needed to have one more lunch at our desks to say goodbye to where all our shenanigans started. I feel like it’s important to note that it was only dark because we chose not to turn the light on, I guess for dramatic effect. During our meal, my favorite FedEx driver made a delivery. He is always singing and dancing; it is so wonderful to see. He inspires me to find more joy every time I see him.

    This weekend, I went to watch a Spikeball tournament. There was an insane amount of people there jumping and diving all around those little nets, it was quite impressive. It made me wish I had the coordination to play, but unfortunately, I believe I would somehow end up diving directly into that net, while simultaneously launching the ball straight to the moon. I will stick to just watching so that I’m not fined for littering on the moon. The whole day, I was sitting outside in the wind, wondering if it was possible for my bones to actually freeze. I don’t know if I’ve ever been that cold for that long before. My fingers were numb and the wind had tornadoed my hair into a tangly mess. I’m sure that I looked just a tiny bit insane.

    It was well worth it though, as I got to spend time with someone I care for very much. I spent most of the day watching him play spike, and he spent the rest of the day acting as a human blanket to block the wind for me. We listened to some more songs about LeBron James and then I almost had a panic attack while trying to park a truck at Jersey Mikes. It was a very lovely weekend, and my heart is full of joy and love once again. Over the years, this person has played an incredibly important role in my continued pursuit of joy, light, and silliness. On the rare occasions we find ourselves in the same place at the same time, a light in my soul always sparks back up, and his goofiness and intentional unseriousness inspires me greatly to do things just for the sake of a good laugh. He’s also the only subscriber on this blog that gave me handstand advice. I guess the rest of you wanted me to crash through a wall.

    With my renewed passion for life, I am committing to doing something absolutely ridiculous every single day this week. I’m not sure what I will do. I will just wait for inspiration to strike each day, spend a lot of time laughing about the idea, probably tell Morgan and Sheccid about it first, do the ridiculous thing, and then laugh again until I’m in tears. That’s really what life is all about.

    I hope everyone is staying warm during these unusually cold days!☃️ As always, I encourage you to intentionally seek out the things that make you happy. Do something silly and stupid this week just because it makes you laugh, then come back to this post and tell me about it in the comments. Most importantly, let the light in your heart keep you warm and let it shine so that everyone can see it.

    P.S: I have a fun new blog/game format that I am cooking up, so stay tuned for that in the next few days!

    Stay silly, Dawgs! <3